All of this happened on a single day this week (I think it was Wednesday):
- I drove to a local trail for a run and I mistakenly left my minivan door open. Proceeded to run 3 miles. Had my purse right on the floor of the van with a full, open view to any passer-by. Nothing was taken. Humanity is good at its core.
- My 10-year-old had band rehearsal practice at school– I forgot, so she left for school sans clarinet. She had to use a spare clarinet at school and couldn’t make any music from it, as the reed was too large for her. She came home complaining.
- I forgot to RSVP for a birthday party that my 4-year-old twins were invited to.
- Checked to see online when my library books were due (Wednesday of course) and couldn’t find one of them. I don’t even remember checking out the book. I found it two days later and now have to pay library fines.
On Wednesday evening, I made a vow to be more organized –to make a real effort to get my act together. I have had many days like Wednesday–probably more than I would like to admit.
I am always losing my car keys, wallet, purse, debit card, etc. I must operate on autopilot and place things down without thinking or being ‘mindful’ of what I am actually doing. Or I am multitasking (and again) not fully cognizant of what I am actually doing.
I have a history of trying to organize and failing. I have signed up for classes on the topic of organization and forgotten where I wrote down the class information and then missed the class.
I have ‘lost’ my car keys twice on a run on the trial. The keys must have fallen out of my hand or pocket. But found them both times (miraculously) with the help of trail walkers and friends.
I have read a lot of books about organization (that my dog hasn’t eaten). I purchased the best sellers like: “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and “It’s All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff” as well as reading piles of books from the library on the topic for organization.
But as my husband says:”You can read a lot of diet books, but it’s not going to make you thin.” I guess the same is true about organization: knowing home organization strategies without implementing them (or sticking with them) will not make your household/life organized.
Subconsciously I must get a ‘high’ from the frantic state that disorganization induces. I think part of me likes being in a frazzled state; it must release dopamine or adrenaline in my brain. And now this frantic state has become a habit of mine over time.
I never learned how to organize or had any guidance for organization while growing up. So many things were out of control in my youth/teen /early twenties with both parents dying that I have become:
- Passive and fatalistic: what is the point of trying to control/organize life when so much is out of your hands.
- Constantly in state of stress: disorganization has me in a continuing cycle of panic (can’t find item) and relief (found item). This also applies to procrastination which I am infamous for. I know something needs to get done and it is constantly on my mind (panic–but I don’t do anything until last minute) then relief (once I actually complete task– if at all).
- Outwardly calm: I mask the stress from my disorganization. I am like a duck in water, constantly moving my feet and no one ever notices all the work it takes to navigate the pond, (or in my case life and the toll of hidden stress/disorganization)–except my family–who have to deal with the repercussions.
So today I vow on social media (I have to hold my feet to the fire) that I will stop procrastinating and start organizing my household so my family can thrive and I can gain a sense of actual calm and peace. No more excuses. I will keep posts of my success in the coming weeks. If you have household organization suggestions and ways to overcome procrastination, please comment! I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you and Happy Friday!